Sorry for the lack of posts of late. Just so much going on, at so many levels. For example:

I’ve had a few things which I’ve been trying to get sorted since the new year, if not before: an issue with the emailer on our new laptop and some (minor) leak issues with our shower. I’ve spent many an hour trying to resolve them and a few times thought I had, only to have my hopes dashed.

If pushed, I have to admit that they are not really urgent: it’s just me, not liking things hanging around ‘in progress’; probably because that is the prevailing mindset in the world today.

I am only too aware of an inner battle within me. My conditioned self, with all these wants and expectations to be in control. And my inner, higher self, gradually becoming more significant within my overall consciousness.

The last few days I have had quite a bad cold: the main symptom being phlegm at the back of my throat and a tickly cough.

I am aware of a direct correlation between when my old mind is ifing, butting, wanting, clinging to it conditioned ways, and my symptoms. The more the old controlling mindset clings, the more catarrh, the more tickly coughs. Conversely, when I am at peace with myself, allowing things to happen in the fullness of time, there are no cold-like symptoms!

I am aware of a real time example of ‘its all in the mind’. If I sense a negative thought emerging and respond to it by shining love and light into that part of my head, the negative thought subsides and I remain peaceful. If I don’t do that and allow the controlling thought to assert itself, phlegm starts flowing, I feel a tickle and I have no choice but to cough.

It’s hard work to maintain such a focus of attention. It’s hard work to retain such a level of consciousness and to be present with it. I reassure myself that this is not surprising, given the prevailing belief, that we can control everything, is so endemic in so much of society. Most of our minds are pretty much hardwired to this way of thinking, so of course it is going to take a lot of effort to rewire it!

I find that describing the situation poetically can be quite helpful:

But it doesn’t really

This needs to be sorted. Now!
I want to get this done!
As soon as possible (no “please”)
The deadline is …
Time is of the essence
Completion matters
This goal, that goal
Matters!
But does it?
Really?

Must achieve, must succeed
Above all else
Winning (is all that) matters
Want this, acquire that
Own this, have that
Must get the latest, fastest
Thing
Matter
Matters
But does it?
Really?

It’s the principle of it…
Ideally…
An unshakable belief
A well-proven theory
Evidence based
Matters
But does it?
Really?

What is time
Really?
A flow
Of consciousness.

What is matter?
Really?
A condensation
Of consciousness.

What are ideas?
Really?
Consciousness.

Underlying all else
Is consciousness!

So, if nothing else matters?
What about consciousness?

Even consciousness
     Does not really matter
        As a goal
        As an idea
        As a principle
Because consciousness
Is now
And only now.